You Become What You Think About Most of the Time
Your habitual thoughts don’t make events happen on their own, but they do shape your attention, expectations and choices.
If you keep dwelling on failure, you may hesitate, give less effort or avoid opportunities, which makes failure more likely.
Focusing on your goals, and on the specific actions that move you toward them, gives you a better chance of success.
Give Credit Where Credit Is Due
Always give credit where credit is due.
Think about the last time someone took credit for your idea. It probably left you feeling hurt, overlooked and cheated.
As a manager, recognize your team publicly for their work and effort.
As a team member, if you are praised for something that someone else helped with, or that wasn’t your idea, say so openly.
Telling the Truth Is Easier Than Keeping Up Lies
If you get into the habit of lying, you have to keep track of what was a lie and what was true.
When you are always truthful, there is nothing to keep track of, because everything you said is true.
Celebrate Your Wins Without Becoming Arrogant
It’s good to celebrate your wins, but don’t let success make you arrogant.
Some people proudly say, “I did it all myself, with no help from anyone.” In reality, success is never yours alone. It is built on the contributions of the people who came before you.
For example, someone might say, “I built this program on my own, and my success is all because of me.”
But they could only do it because others created a way to write software, built the computer it runs on and supplied the power that runs it.
So it’s never just you. It’s you, supported by the tools and contributions of others.
Don’t Give Others the Power to Make You Feel Bad
You can’t always stop the first sting when someone is hurtful, but you have a lot of say in what happens next.
Ask whether there is any truth in it. If you were wrong, make it right. If you weren’t, choose not to let their words define you.
If the hurtful behavior is ongoing, such as bullying or abuse, it isn’t something to simply shrug off. Seek support and set boundaries.
Avoid Impulse Buying to Stay Out of Debt
Impulse buying is one avoidable way people slide into credit card debt, but it isn’t the only cause.
Unexpected costs such as car repairs, home repairs, medical bills or job loss push many people into debt too.
Curbing impulse purchases, and building an emergency fund, helps protect you from both.
Appreciate Your Job to Rebuild Your Motivation
When you don’t feel like going to work, or your career feels stuck, try shifting your perspective to get your momentum going again.
Start by listing what you can be grateful for: Your job provides an income that supports you and your family. Your role matters to the company and to the people it serves. Your job lets you take care of yourself, instead of asking friends for money or relying on government programs just to survive. You were chosen. Out of all the candidates, they hired you, so you have something special they want.
You’re part of a team and part of something. It’s not just a job; it’s a job you are performing.
Focusing on examples like these brings more positive energy to your work, instead of focusing on the negatives and draining the positivity out of it.
Put the Right Person in the Right Job
When you’re hiring, do your best to find the right person for the job. It’s not enough just to fill a position. You need the right candidate, someone who fits the role.
Many companies promote people because they’re doing a great job in their current position. What often isn’t considered is that they may not do as well in the new role because they aren’t the right fit for it.
Hiring the wrong person leads to headaches and financial loss. It also creates stress, and if you did the hiring, it reflects poorly on you.
Whenever you hire, take time to consider the job at hand and whether the person is a good fit. Tools like artificial intelligence can help you create questionnaires to find the right fit.
Get it right and you’ll be praised, and your job as a manager becomes easier. Get it wrong and it could be a damaging strike against you and a loss to your company.
They May Not Be Lying; They May Just Be Wrong
Have you ever argued with someone who insisted they were right when you knew they were wrong? It can feel like they’re lying to your face.
But look at it from another perspective. Perhaps they truly believe what they’re saying. They aren’t trying to be devious; that’s simply what they remember. In their eyes, you’re the one who’s wrong.
Keep your emotions in check and verify the facts. People aren’t always being dishonest. Sometimes they sincerely believe something that isn’t accurate.
Get to the Point: Rambling Confuses Your Listeners
Rambling doesn’t help when you’re trying to get a point across.
We often ramble because there’s so much going on in our heads that we try to make many points at once. For the people listening, it’s confusing, wastes time and is irritating.
If you feel you’re going to ramble, pause before you speak. Work out exactly what you want to say, take a deep breath and say it concisely.
For a meeting, practice what you want to say or write it down, whatever works for you. Get your point across in a couple of sentences. If people want to know more, they’ll ask.
Look Away When You’re Tempted
When you’re tempted, look away and turn your attention to any distraction that keeps you from focusing on the temptation, such as another task or a conversation.
Distraction works better than straining not to think about it. Repeatedly telling yourself “don’t think about it” can keep the thought coming back.
If you can, remove the temptation from sight altogether.
Give More Value Than You’re Paid For
I think it’s important to give your company more than what you’re paid for.
Some people may think that’s foolish and that you should be paid for every effort. I’m not saying work for free. I’m saying that if you earn a decent wage, you shouldn’t expect a raise every time you do something good.
Go in with the mindset that the company is taking care of you. You’re getting a good income and it’s your livelihood, so go the extra mile and give more than you’re paid for.
It shows good faith toward the company, and it makes you a more valuable employee. Managers notice when you always go the extra mile.
As a bonus, with this mindset you feel good about your work and what you’re doing.
How God Answers Prayer: Yes, No, or Not Yet
I believe God answers every prayer for each of us when we pray with all our heart and are authentic. The answer may be yes, no or not yet.
Sometimes the answer is no. Some prayers aren’t right for your path. God sees the big picture, while you see through a small window. You may want a certain job, item or person in your life, but God sees that it won’t help move your path forward.
When God says yes, nothing in existence can keep it from coming. But He answers in His own way and His own time, so there may be a delay.
An answer doesn’t always come down from heaven as an angel or a miracle. Often God works through other people, because just as He loves you, He loves them too. Your boss may give you an unexpected promotion or raise and be glad to do it.
God also gave us free will. He guides people but doesn’t force them. If your boss had a cold heart and refused to give you a raise, God won’t make him. He’ll give him the opportunity, and if he declines, the blessing will come through someone else. That takes time.
So pray with all your heart and ask God for what you want, but add, “according to Your will, not mine.” When there’s a delay, remember how He works, and it will keep you from being anxious.
Focus on Your Own Talents, Not Others’
Don’t measure yourself against other people’s talents, and be happy for them when they succeed.
Instead, discover what you’re naturally good at and develop it.
Natural gifts are a head start, but skills also grow with practice and learning, so don’t rule yourself out of something just because it doesn’t come easily at first.
You May Sabotage Your Success When Life Goes Too Well
Many people have a comfort level for how much good they expect in life. When things go unusually well, some pull back, pick a fight or find something to worry about.
Not every setback is self-made, so use this as a question to ask, not an explanation for everything that goes wrong.
If you notice yourself pulling back when things go well, slow down, breathe and let yourself enjoy it before you act.
Fear and Excitement Feel the Same, So Choose Excitement
The racing heart before a speech, a performance or a big decision can be read as either fear or excitement. Telling yourself ‘I’m excited’ can help you perform better than trying to calm down.
This works best for nervous anticipation. It will not remove every fear, and it is not a substitute for support if the fear is overwhelming.
Don’t Shrink Your Success to Keep Other People Comfortable
The worry is common, and it isn’t always imagined. Research shows that outperforming someone can strain a relationship, especially in an area they care about or when it comes across as bragging.
You don’t have to shrink to protect people. Be gracious instead: share credit, help others succeed and avoid comparisons.
Success Doesn’t Mean Leaving Your Family or Roots Behind
Some people quietly hold back because they feel that succeeding means leaving others behind.
Maybe you are the first in your family to earn more, finish school or start a business. Part of you wonders whether growing means abandoning the people who raised you.
Ask yourself who you are afraid of leaving, and what you believe they would think. You can grow and stay loyal. Success often gives you more to give back.
Being Great at Something Doesn’t Mean It’s Your Calling
Being skilled at something and being drawn to it are different things. Research on goals finds that people who pursue what they truly value and enjoy, rather than what others expect of them, put in more effort and feel better over time.
You don’t need to quit your job to apply this. Start by shifting a few hours a week toward work you love, and delegate or drop what you can.
In a Conflict, Each Person Owns 100 Percent of the Solution
Taking full responsibility for resolving a conflict doesn’t mean taking the blame for everything, and it doesn’t apply when someone is being abusive.
It means owning your own part: your tone, your assumptions and your next step. Stop defending and blaming, and ask what you can do to move things forward.
Stop Saying You Don’t Have Time
A day still has 24 hours. But how much time you feel you have depends partly on your attention and priorities.
Research suggests that spending time helping others and feeling awe can make people feel they have more time.
Notice when you say you have no time, ask what you are really choosing instead, and put your best hours toward what matters.
Say What You Feel in One Short, Honest Sentence
When you are upset, you can hide it or pour it out in a long speech.
There is a better way: say it in one short, true sentence. ‘I’m sad.’ ‘I’m scared.’ ‘I’m angry about what happened.’
No blame and no long story. Short truths are easier to say and to hear, and they clear the air before small things grow.
Check Your Situation Often So Small Changes Don’t Surprise You
Anything you depend on can change: your job, your health, your money, a relationship.
Check on it regularly, before there is a problem. Small signs usually come first. The supply gets smaller, a customer goes quiet or a routine stops working.
When you spot small changes early, you have time to adjust before a big one arrives. When you get comfortable and stop looking, change feels like it came out of nowhere.
Let Go of the Old Cheese So You Can Find the New
When something you counted on is gone, waiting for it to come back costs you time.
Ask whether it is truly gone. If it is, let go sooner rather than later and start looking for what comes next. Searching is usually safer than staying where there is nothing left.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up on everything that gets hard, and it doesn’t mean accepting unfair treatment in silence. It means not holding on to what is gone just because it was yours.
Ask Yourself What You Would Do If You Weren’t Afraid
Fear often keeps us in the same place long after staying put stops making sense.
Ask yourself, ‘What would I do if I weren’t afraid?’ Then take one small step toward the answer.
What you imagine is often worse than what happens, and fear tends to shrink once you start moving. Some fears are worth listening to, though, so check the real risks first.
Update the Beliefs That No Longer Fit Your Situation
When things change, the beliefs that worked before can keep you stuck. ‘This is how it has always been.’ ‘I earned this.’ ‘It isn’t fair.’
Hem sat in the empty station repeating those beliefs and waiting for the cheese to come back.
Ask yourself, ‘Is this belief still true, or is it just familiar?’ If it no longer fits, replace it with one that does, and act on it. Some old beliefs still hold, so test them rather than throw them all out.
Picture the New Cheese, Then Plan for What Could Get in the Way
When you are facing a change, picture yourself enjoying what comes next: the new job, the new routine, the better situation. A clear picture gives you a reason to move.
But a picture alone isn’t enough. Next, ask what could get in your way, and decide ahead of time what you will do. For example: ‘If I feel like quitting, I will call a friend first.’
The picture gives you the direction, and the plan helps you keep going.
Keep It Simple: Take a Step, Check the Result, Adjust
When the cheese ran out, the mice didn’t hold a meeting. They went looking, tried a path and turned around when it led nowhere.
The littlepeople had bigger brains and used them to analyze, argue and wait, and they stayed hungry.
When circumstances change, don’t wait until you have all the answers. Take a small step, see what happens and adjust.
For big decisions that are hard to undo, take more time. For most others, a quick try beats a long debate.
The More You Value Something, the Harder It Is to Let It Go
The more something matters to you, the harder you hold on to it, even when it is clearly slipping away.
A job, a relationship, a title or a dream can all become your cheese. The bigger the part it plays in your life, the more losing it feels like a threat.
Notice when you are gripping something tightly, and ask whether holding on is still helping you.
Change Happens, So Expect It
Things change. Jobs end, prices rise, health shifts and people move on.
Change is not a sign that something has gone wrong with you. It is how life works.
The sooner you accept that, the less shocked you will feel when it comes, and the sooner you can decide what to do about it.
Get Ready for Change Before It Arrives
Don’t wait for the cheese to run out to think about what you will do. The mice kept their running shoes by the door, so when the cheese was gone they were already moving.
Ask yourself, ‘If this changed tomorrow, what would I do?’ Update your resume, build some savings, learn a new skill and keep your options open.
A little preparation turns a crisis into a decision.
Know What You Want, Because Having It Makes You Happy
Before you can go after what you want, you have to know what it is. Your cheese might be a job, a relationship, money, health or something else.
Get specific. What exactly do you want, and why?
Then check it. We are often wrong about what will make us happy, and things we get can stop feeling special over time. Ask what it will really give you, and whether something else would give you more.
If You Don’t Change, You Can Become Obsolete
If nothing changes in how you work, think or live while everything around you does, you can become outdated.
Skills fade, industries shift and habits that once worked stop working. People who keep learning stay useful. People who don’t can find themselves left behind.
Update something every so often: a skill, a tool or an assumption.
Change Course When You See You Can Find Something Better
People rarely change just because someone tells them to. They change when they can see something better and believe they can reach it.
If you are stuck, don’t only list what is wrong with where you are. Look for evidence that something better is possible: someone who made the same move, a small test or a first result.
Once you believe it is reachable, changing course gets much easier.
Stay Ready After You Succeed, Because Change Will Come Again
Finding the new cheese does not end the story. The cheese at the new station will run out too.
Haw learned from his mistake. At the new station he checked the cheese every day and kept his running shoes nearby.
When things are going well, don’t relax into the habits that got you stuck. Keep learning, keep an eye on what is changing and stay ready to move.
Keep Your Agreements, Even the Small Ones
Every agreement you make, even a small one, is a promise. ‘I’ll call you back.’ ‘I’ll be there at five.’ ‘I’ll send it tomorrow.’
When you break one, or hold back a truth you should have shared, it leaves something unfinished between you and the other person. Small breaches pile up, and you feel the weight even when no one else notices.
Keep your agreements. When you can’t, say so early and renegotiate instead of letting it slide.
Worry, Blame and Criticism Can Drain Your Good Feelings
Notice what you do right after something good happens. Many of us reach for worry, criticism or blame without noticing.
You land the job and start worrying about your first mistake. You have a great day with your partner and pick a fight over something small. You get praised and point out what went wrong.
When you catch yourself, stop and let the good feeling stay a little longer. Savor it before you look for what could go wrong.
Raise Your Estimate of Your Own Ability by About 10 Percent
Most of us underrate what we can do. Feelings of inadequacy hold more people back than a lack of ability does.
Make an honest estimate of your ability, then give yourself a little more credit, about ten percent. Aim a bit higher than you think you can reach, and raise your estimate again each time you succeed.
Confidence built on real results lasts. Confidence you only claim does not.
Say a Daily Statement of Confidence You Can Actually Believe
Start the day by saying out loud what you want to be true: ‘Today is a good day, and I can handle what comes.’
Pick words you can believe. A statement that feels like a lie tends to make you feel worse, so keep it small and honest, like ‘I can take the next step.’
Say it every day, and back it up with action.
Empty Your Mind of Fear and Refill It
You can’t leave your mind empty, so give it something to hold.
When a fearful or resentful thought shows up, don’t just try to push it out. Notice it and replace it on purpose with a calmer thought, a task or a mental picture.
Empty, then refill. Do it each time the thought comes back, and especially before you sleep.
Expect the Best, Because Expectation Shapes What You Do
What you expect shapes how you act. If you expect to do well, you try harder, stay longer and notice more chances. If you expect to fail, you hold back.
Expect the best, but base it on what you have done before and what you are prepared to do, not on wishing. Then put in the work.
Expectation moves you. Wishing alone does not.
Worry Is a Habit You Can Break
Worry is a habit, and habits can be changed.
Start by catching it. Ask yourself, ‘How often do the things I worry about actually happen?’ Most of the time, they don’t.
Then give your mind something better to do: write the worry down, take one small action on it, or turn to something that absorbs you. Practice every day until it gets easier.
Calm Your Body First, and Your Mind Will Follow
When you are tense, start with your body. It is hard to think your way to calm while your muscles are tight and your breathing is fast.
Sit or lie down, loosen your muscles, slow your breathing and slow your speech. In an argument, lower your voice.
Once the body settles, the mind usually follows.
Pray for the Person Who Wronged You
When someone has wronged you, resentment can take over your day.
Try praying for them. Wish them well by name, even if you have to start through gritted teeth. Do it each time the anger comes back.
You are not excusing what they did. You are loosening its grip on you.
Get the Facts Straight, Then Let the Answer Come
When you are stuck on a problem, write down the facts as they are, without drama. Then stop forcing it.
Take a walk, work on something else or sleep on it. Solutions often show up when you stop pushing for them.
Calm your mind, get the facts straight and then let the answer come.
Don’t Copy Others; You Are Unique
It is tempting to measure yourself by copying someone who seems to have it all figured out. But you are not them, and acting like someone else is tiring and rarely convincing.
Learn from other people: their habits, their methods and their lessons. Then adapt what you learn to who you are.
You will do your best work as the most capable version of yourself, not as a copy of someone else.
Compete With Yourself, Not With Others
Comparing yourself with other people is a game you can’t fully win, because there is always someone ahead of you.
Compete with yourself instead. Ask, ‘Am I better than I was last month?’ Track your own progress and set your next goal a little beyond it.
You can still learn from people who are ahead of you. You just won’t measure your worth by them.
Decide to Be Happy, Because Happiness Is a Habit of Mind
Happiness doesn’t depend only on what happens to you. A lot of it depends on the habits of mind you practice.
Decide that you are going to look for the good in your day, and do it on purpose. When an unhappy thought comes, notice it and turn your attention to something good that is also true.
It won’t change everything, and some days will be hard. But small, repeated habits shift your mood over time.
Start Each Day by Saying It’s a Good Day
Before you check your phone or read the news, say it out loud: ‘This is a good day, and I can handle what it brings.’
If you pray, you might use a short verse such as Psalm 118, verse 24, which celebrates the day as a gift.
A short morning statement sets the tone. It won’t remove problems, but you will meet them in a steadier frame of mind.
Tackle Problems One at a Time, Not All at Once
When everything is piling up, it feels like one huge problem. It usually isn’t. It is several smaller ones.
Write them down, pick the most important one, and work on it until it is done or you have made real progress. Then take the next.
Doing one thing at a time keeps you calmer and gets more done than trying to do it all at once.
Spend Time With Hopeful People
The people you spend the most time with shape how you see things. Constant complaining wears you down, and hope spreads too.
Make time for people who expect good things and work toward them. When you are around negativity you can’t avoid, answer it with something hopeful rather than joining in.
You can’t choose everyone around you, but you can choose where most of your time goes.
Treat God as a Partner in Your Decisions
You don’t have to carry every decision alone, and you don’t have to hand it over and wait either.
Bring the decision to God as a partner. Pray about it, lay out the facts honestly, make your best choice and then act on it.
A partner shares the work. You still do your part, and you do it with more peace.
Spend Your Energy on What You Can Influence
When something is weighing on you, sort it into two piles: what you can influence and what you can only worry about. Put your effort into the first pile, such as your own choices, words and next step.
You can still care about the second pile. But worrying about it gives you nothing to act on and uses up energy you need for the first.
Decide How You Want to Be Remembered, Then Steer by It
Picture a day far in the future when the people closest to you describe what you stood for. Ask what you would want them to say about your character and what you gave to others.
Write your answers as a short statement of the values you want to live by, and check your choices against it often. Without a direction, it is easy to work hard on things that don’t matter to you.
Protect Time for What Matters Before the Urgent Takes It
Sort your tasks by importance and by urgency, because the two are not the same. Work that is important but not urgent, such as planning, health and relationships, has no deadline pushing on it, so it is the first to be crowded out.
Put that work on your calendar before the week fills up, and cut or hand off urgent tasks that don’t matter much.
Build Trust With Small Deposits, Because Withdrawals Cost More
Think of each relationship as an account of trust. Kindness, keeping your word, listening and honest apologies add to it, and broken promises, rudeness and ignoring people draw it down.
Harm usually weighs more than kindness, so make deposits often, and make them in a form the other person values, not the one you would want. When trust is high, small mistakes are easier to forgive.
Look for a Deal Where Both Sides Win, or Agree to No Deal
Before you negotiate or argue, ask what would make this work for the other person as well as for you. People often assume that whatever one side gains, the other must lose, and that assumption hides solutions that serve both.
If you cannot find an outcome both sides truly accept, agree to no deal and part on good terms rather than forcing a win for one side.
Listen to Understand Before You Try to Be Understood
Most people listen while they prepare their reply. Instead, listen until you can describe what the other person thinks and feels in a way they would agree with.
Only then explain your own view. People who feel understood tend to get less defensive and are more open to what you say.
When You Disagree, Look for a Third Option Better Than Either Side’s
When two people see something differently, don’t treat it as a contest between their two ideas. Treat the difference as raw material and ask what option you would both prefer that neither of you has suggested yet.
This takes real listening and a willingness to let your own idea change. Differences help most when they bring useful skills and knowledge to the table, and when people can disagree without it turning personal.
Renew Yourself on Purpose, Because Your Effectiveness Depends on It
Treat yourself as the tool that does all your work, and sharpen it on a schedule. Set aside regular time for your body (movement, rest and food), your mind (learning), your relationships and your sense of purpose.
The time you cut when you are busy is often the time that keeps you able to keep going.
Lasting Change Works From the Inside Out
Quick tricks and polished techniques can change what you do for a while, but they don’t change who you are. If your character and the way you see things stay the same, old patterns tend to come back under pressure.
Start on the inside: your values, your motives and the habits of thought behind your behavior. When those shift, new behavior follows more naturally and is more likely to last.
Focus on Your System, Not Just Your Goal
Goals set a direction, but the daily routines you follow are what actually move you. Many people share the same goal, so the goal alone doesn’t explain who gets there.
Ask what you do every day that produces the result you want, and improve that routine. Once you reach a goal, keep the routine going, or the old results tend to drift back.
Tiny Gains Compound, but Expect a Delay Before Results Show
Getting a tiny bit better each day feels like nothing in the moment, but small gains build on each other over time. Early on, the results often don’t show, and many people quit just before the payoff.
Stay with the routine long enough for the results to catch up. Don’t expect smooth, steady progress, because most skills improve fast at first and then more slowly.
Treat Every Action as a Vote for the Person You Want to Become
Every time you act, you cast a vote for the kind of person you are becoming. Decide who you want to be, such as someone who exercises or someone who writes, and then prove it with small actions.
You don’t need every vote to go your way, only most of them. Seeing yourself as that kind of person makes the next action easier.
Attach a New Habit to One You Already Do, at a Set Time and Place
Pick a habit you already do every day and attach the new one right after it, using a plan such as: after I pour my coffee, I will read one page. Naming the time and place in advance removes the daily decision about when to act.
The habit you already have acts as the reminder, so you don’t have to rely on remembering or on motivation.
Shape Your Surroundings So Good Habits Are Easy and Bad Ones Are Hard
Your surroundings cue your behavior more than your willpower does. Make the cues for good habits easy to see and reach, and hide or remove the cues for bad ones.
For example, keep your phone in another room while you work and keep sweets out of the kitchen. When it is hard to change yourself, change the place.
Shrink a New Habit to Two Minutes So Starting Is Easy
When a new habit feels too big, shrink it to a version that takes two minutes or less, such as reading one page or putting on your running shoes. The aim is to make starting so easy that you can’t talk yourself out of it.
Once you have started, continuing is easier, and you can build up from there. First make showing up a habit, then make the habit bigger.
If You Miss a Day, Never Miss Twice
Everyone misses a day now and then. One miss is a slip, but two in a row start a new pattern, so get back on track right away.
When you can’t do the full habit, do a small version instead of nothing. What matters most is returning the next day.
Track Your Habit Where You Can See Your Progress
Record each time you do the habit, with a mark on a calendar, a tally or a paper clip moved from one jar to another. Seeing the streak grow is a small reward that keeps you going, and a gap in the record is a cue to get back on track.
Make the record simple enough to update in a few seconds, and keep it where you will see it.